Meet & Greet Tips: How to Approach a Cat at an Adoption Visit

Meeting a cat for the first time? Whether you’re visiting a shelter, meeting a foster cat, or bringing a new kitty home, first impressions matter. Cats are naturally cautious creatures, and how you introduce yourself can make or break your chance at earning their trust. But with the right approach — calm energy, patience, and a few smart techniques — you can help a cat feel safe and even curious about you.

If you’re planning to adopt a new feline friend, learn how to approach a cat for the first time and how to get a cat to come to you, to encourage trust and — eventually — affection.

Petting a cat for the first time

Here’s the first rule you need to know about cat meet and greets — never try to pet a cat before they ask you to. Cats like to call the shots, and you can respect that desire by keeping your distance and only petting the cat when they give the okay. This may come in the form of a gentle head bump, or they may rub against you with the side of their face or chin. When a cat nudges you, let them sniff your hand, and if they nudge you again, feel free to reach out and pet them. For the first interaction, only pet the cat lightly on the head and avoid any other spots on their body.

If a cat doesn’t come over right away, don’t worry, there’s still hope. Here’s how to encourage a cat to come to you while keeping it stress-free.

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How to introduce yourself to a cat in a shelter

Cats tend to keep their guard up when meeting someone new and are very perceptive of your actions. The best way to befriend a cat is to allow them to approach you. Remember, even well-socialized cats may hesitate to approach an unfamiliar person.

1. Keep yourself relaxed

To start your first meeting off on the right foot, maintain friendly body language and avoid staring, as much as you may want to look at that adorable face. Cats will pay close attention to your movements to determine if you’re safe to approach.

Make sure to speak softly and calmly. Cats are sensitive to loud noises and are more likely to approach you if they sense that you’re calm and safe.

2. Sit down on the cat’s level

When you first approach a new cat, you should do so on their level — literally. Standing can be intimidating, so kneel or sit on the floor, making yourself smaller and closer to the cat’s size. This will make you appear less threatening and give the cat a chance to study you and approach you on their own terms.

3. Watch the cat’s body language

You should also pay attention to the cat’s physical cues. Study the cat’s body language and look for positive signs like purring, slow tail waves, and a lowered head, all of which can indicate that the cat is comfortable with you.

On the other hand, signs such as rapid head movements or staring may mean they’re overstimulated. A tense body, hiding, and ears flattened to the head can indicate a frightened cat, letting you know that you should keep your distance and be patient.

4. Give them plenty of space

Give the cat space to come to you in their own time, and don’t try to pet the cat if they don’t want to be touched. You may even have to sit very still and pretend to ignore the cat by looking at your phone or talking to someone else in the room.

Many shy cats may seem a little fearful or even skittish at a first meeting, so be patient and don’t force the cat to interact with you, as this will only make them more frightened. Instead, give the cat plenty of space, allowing them to hide if they want or explore the room. They may even slowly draw closer to you simply out of curiosity. Maintain your calm and non-threatening posture by sitting on the ground and greet the cat in a soft voice to help soothe them.

5. Offer your scent

Once the cat comes closer, offer your hand for them to sniff. Don’t force the cat to touch you or make any sudden movements that could startle the cat. When the cat does approach you, you can hold out a loosely closed fist for the cat to smell so they can become better acquainted with you.

Above all, meeting a new cat for the first time requires an abundant amount of patience. You have to be willing to wait for the cat to approach you and give them space until they do. Before you visit a cat in a shelter or rescue, take the time to learn how cats communicate their feelings and moods, as well as how to make friends with a cat.

Tips on how to befriend a cat

Here are more tips to help you earn a cat’s trust and start your friendship off right.

• Try using tasty treats. Treats can be a good way to encourage a new cat to develop positive associations with being around you. A little snack can also help coax a more timid cat to approach you. Just make sure not to feed the cat from your hand, but instead, set a treat or two on the floor nearby so the cat can investigate and approach without having to come in direct contact if they’re not ready.

• You can also try playing with them. Wand toys are also great for first encounters because they allow the cat to play without coming too close to an unfamiliar person. While a little playtime may not be the answer to how to make a cat love you instantly, it’s certainly a good start.

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5 mistakes to avoid when meeting a cat

When you meet a cat for the first time, it can be tempting to scoop them up in your arms and give them kisses. But this behavior is guaranteed to frighten the cat and can even result in scratches or cause damage to the future relationship you were hoping to have. Instead, make sure to avoid these behaviors as you’re learning how to get a cat to like you:

• Never stare at the cat. Cats can see staring as threatening or intimidating. Instead, offer an encouraging slow blink to show the cat you trust them.

• Avoid making any sudden movements, which can startle the cat and cause them to run away and hide.

• Never pick up a cat if they’re not comfortable with it. Being picked up can make a cat feel trapped and scared, and many cats don’t like being held at all.

• Avoid full-body petting. Know where to touch a cat and where not to pet a cat — keep your first pets around the cat’s head and chin.

• Don’t force the cat to interact with you. Forcing them to do this will only make them feel more stressed. Instead, give them space to approach you in their own time and on their terms.

By taking the time to understand a cat’s signs and how they communicate through their body language, you can ensure that your first interaction with a new cat goes as smoothly as possible. By starting off on the right foot (paw?) with your new feline friend, you can begin to develop a loving relationship that can last for years to come.

Commonly asked questions

How do you say hello in “cat”?

Cats say hello through body language and subtle cues such as slow blinks, a relaxed approach, and a gentle cheek rub. So, keep your body language calm too. Instead of reaching toward them, offer a relaxed hand at their level and let them decide to investigate.

How do I approach a stray cat without scaring them?

You should approach a cat while in a seated position at their level. Be patient, avoid making any sudden movements or loud noises, and let the cat come to you on their own.

Should I try to play with the cat during the first meeting?

Yes, if the cat seems willing to play, use a wand toy that allows them to interact with you while still keeping their distance. Playing may also encourage a more shy cat to come out and greet you.

References

“Cat Handling Handbook.” Maddiesfund.org, Maddie’s Fund.

“Overview Guide to Socializing Shy, Frightened, or Traumatized Cats." americanpetsalive.org, Austin Pets Alive.

“Helping a Fearful Cat in New Home.” aspcapro.org, ASPCA.

“10 Science-Backed Tips for Getting a Cat to like You.” Mentalfloss.com, 16 July 2018, www.mentalfloss.com/article/549585/science-backed-tips-for-getting-a-cat-to-like-you.