My name is Megatron!

I've had Megatron since he was a kitten. The last house we lived in was very chaotic, and due to that, he was not properly litter box trained. He got used to peeing/pooping on clothes, furniture, rugs, due to the fact that the house was already marked by the smell of other animals... I've now, finally, moved into a new apartment, and I'm at my wits end. I cannot financially handle this cat, nor do i have the time to continue trying to litter box train him while he continues to destroy my furniture. He's already sprayed our nearly brand new couch so thoroughly that it's almost unrecoverable, and if I'm honest, all I want at this point is for him to be gone. I cannot afford to get him nuetered, even at a reduced rate. He's a sweet boy, and I know he would do well in the hands of a competent trainer with the resources to properly care for him, but I am not that. This is my last resort before surrendering him to a shelter.