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My basic info
Breed
American Pit Bull Terrier
Color
Tricolor (Tan/Brown & Black & White)
Age
2 years 5 months old, Adult
Size
Med. 26-60 lbs (12-27 kg) (when grown)
Weight
45 lbs (current)
Sex
Female
Pet ID
–
My details
Good with kids
Good with dogs
Shots current
Spayed / Neutered
Housetrained
My story
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Here's what the humans have to say about me:
We once had a dog returned after adoption, due to “manic episodes.” The family just couldn’t get a handle on them. And we couldn’t get a handle on what the fuck a manic episode was.
Zoomies.
Manic episodes = Zoomies.
And…that’s when I told them to eat a dick, and we took our dog back. True story.
So, we’re gonna be real honest with this one and say if you don’t enjoy manic episodes, don’t apply for, Joss. Not only does she have EPIC manic episodes, but she involves her audience. You won’t want to be involved. But your involvement isn’t optional. Involvement is also painful.
Joss will paw punch your pussy, booty bump your booze, and will have flown across the room before you can say “You, little bitch! Now I have scotch on my crotch!”
She’s really fucking lucky it’s funny because she’d be homeless again. I’m only semi joking there.
Crating Joss is equally as funny as her manic episodes, but far less painful. She complains for a few, but it’s not barking or high pitched shrieking. Joss’ complaints sound like a 84 year old woman who has smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day…for 85 years. Joss started smoking while in the womb.
Girl is a creeper on leash. She walks outside nicely but if dogs or people approach, she crouches down and does a low army crawl, as if she’s stalking her victims. Her focus and intensity appear alarming…at best. You’re sure she’s coming in to maul you. But once you’re right in front of her, she pops up like a mother fucking jack in the box. WITH ALL THE WIGGLES. God damn psychopath. Her body language could really use some work, because it’s confusing as fuck when you don’t know her. Although…we do know her, and it’s still confusing as fuck.
How I picture her meet and greets:
“Oh, don’t worry. She always looks like she’s approaching to attack. Totally normal. She’s attacked approximately zero people so she probably won’t start with you.” 😬
She seemed like she’d probably do fine with little dogs…at first. But Joss has little dog neighbors that apparently live in the windowsill of every fucking window we walk past. They plan their entire day around hanging out on windowsills, and barking their yappy asses off, at Joss. Those fuckers started the beef so Joss feels pretty certain she’d like to finish it. Those dogs suck. We stand with Joss on this one.
Joss is super sweet and loves to cuddle, but she doesn’t know how to do it right. She never just lays the fuck down nicely, next to you. She’s got to climb over you, climb on you, chew your hair, lick your hair, choke on your hair, and then stare at you, while her paws are wrapped around your neck. She’s an annoying, needy chick, who is always seeking approval, and comes on way too strong. If Joss was a human, she’d be the chick who purposely got knocked up so she could keep someone around forever. Stage five clinger.
Joss is best described as a sour patch kid. First she’s sour, then she’s sweet. Each time you’ve decided you hate her and she couldn’t be more annoying, she comes in with an extra dose of sweetness. Little bitch plays head games. And she’s good at them.
Dog friendly: Will need an equally weird male, with a similar play style.
Kid friendly: Yes, but very rambunctious and can be mouthy. Older kids would be a better match.
Cat friendly: Unknown. Stares like a creeper.
Joss is being fostered in Palatine, IL. No out of state applicants, please.
Joss’ adoption fee is $350 and she will come adorned with her Healed by the Hound “Fuck Off McFuckface” martingale collar, a freedom harness & a leash.
Purchase a collar for your dog, using our code and you’ll get 10% off.
