Is It Normal to Feel Regret After Getting a Puppy?

For many people, adopting a new puppy is a mood booster. But if instead of the pure puppy bliss you anticipated, you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, anxious, sad, frustrated, or even regretful — you’re not alone. Before you start doubting yourself, know that these feelings — often called the “puppy blues” — are very common and don’t mean you’re a bad pet parent.

In fact, these emotions likely reflect how much you care and how hard you’re trying to do right by your new pet. The good news? The puppy blues are usually temporary, and knowing why they happen and how to manage them can make a world of difference.

Let’s unpack why these challenging feelings might occur and how to navigate through the tough moments, so you and your puppy can thrive together.

What are the puppy blues?

The “puppy blues” refers to a period of emotional difficulty that many new puppy parents experience. The reality of caring for a young dog can be far more challenging than expected, and the initial excitement can quickly be replaced with negative feelings. 

While it may feel like you’re the only one struggling, that’s far from true. Research shows that almost half of new puppy parents experience anxiety, weariness, or frustration during the puppy stage.

Puppy blues causes

Several factors can contribute to a new pet parent getting the puppy blues.

• Lack of sleep: Puppies, like babies, require frequent attention (including potty breaks) during the night. This can lead to disrupted sleep and increased fatigue, which makes handling everyday tasks even harder.

• Becoming overwhelmed with responsibility: Caring for a puppy involves almost constant monitoring, feeding, training, and playing, leaving little time for yourself. 

• Unrealistic expectations: Many new puppy parents have an idealized image of what life with a puppy will be like. When reality doesn’t exactly match that vision (at least not at this point in time), it can lead to disappointment and frustration, explains Jennifer Malawey, dog trainer and behavior consultant at Instinct Dog Behavior & Training Portland.

• New schedule: Having a puppy requires a lifestyle adjustment. This means your schedule and routines will change drastically. You might have less time for yourself, your social life, or activities you previously enjoyed.

• Behavioral challenges: Teaching a puppy commands, proper behavior, and house-training requires patience, consistency, and time, which can feel frustrating when progress is slow.

• Financial stress: Puppies come with expenses (vet visits, vaccinations, toys, food, supplies, and potentially unexpected medical costs) that can quickly add up, causing additional pressure and anxiety for new pet parents.

How long do puppy blues last?

“As trainers, we commonly meet clients experiencing the ‘the puppy blues,’” Malawey says. “It seems to last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, but I imagine it could last longer without support.” 

Several factors can influence how long these challenging feelings last.

• Individual personality: Your own temperament and stress tolerance play a significant role in how long the puppy blues may linger. Those who adjust to new challenges quickly might bounce back sooner, while others may take a bit longer to feel comfortable in their new role.

• The puppy’s temperament: “All puppies require effort to raise, but they do not all come with the same challenges,” Malawey says. “Like humans, dogs are unique individuals, and we can’t predict with any precision what a new baby dog will be like.” A high-energy or more stubborn puppy might require a longer adjustment period, while a calmer or easier-to-train pup could shorten the blues.

• Level of preparation: Adopting a puppy without thorough research or preparation can lead to a tougher adjustment period, whereas being well-prepared can help things go more smoothly.

• Support system: A strong support system of family, friends, or fellow dog parents can help shorten the puppy blues, while limited support may prolong the adjustment period. 

• Previous experience with dogs: If you’ve raised a puppy before, you might find the adjustment easier, Malawey says. This is why, she adds, first-time dog parents seem to be more susceptible to the puppy blues. 

Puppy blues symptoms

Although your puppy blues won’t last forever, when it does hit you, the array of emotions you experience will feel very real. This is why it’s important to pause, take a deep breath, then create a strategy to help you get through this bumpy phase. Here are some of the most common feelings a new puppy parent may experience.

Anxiety

Anyone who’s had a puppy knows that if you take your eyes off them for even a minute, they can get into something naughty or even dangerous. That pressure creates a heightened level of stress. But remember that as much as you want to be the perfect pet parent, you are doing your best and are only human.

Frustration

Training a puppy can be the best of times (when a command finally sticks) and the worst of times (the road you must travel to get there). As cute as this little creature may be, it’s perfectly normal to get irritated during this trying process. Just keep in mind that your patience will ultimately pay off.

Loneliness

When you bring a puppy home, it’s all on you to raise them. That may seem obvious, but when your puppy doesn’t sleep through the night, won’t stop whining or biting, or requires an expensive vet visit — you may feel isolated from the amount of time and energy you’re investing in this dog. During these moments, remind yourself that friends, community groups, and support staff at your dog’s rescue are only a click (or phone call) away.

Sadness

If you’re persistently tired and overwhelmed, you may feel depressed, as if you’ve failed to meet your own expectations. Just know that the process of raising a puppy can challenge even the most seasoned pet parents. Stay the course, and you’ll do fine.

Regret

This is a tough one. Most of the above emotions frequently culminate in a pet parent wondering if they should throw in the towel altogether and give up their pup. Before making any rash decisions, remind yourself that these growing pains that seem to be making you miserable are only temporary. During this time, you’re actually laying down a rewarding foundation for years of bonding time with your new dog.

How to cope with puppy blues

Overcoming the puppy blues takes time, patience, and a few practical strategies to help manage the stress and find joy in your companion. Here are 10 tips to help you get through the challenges of the puppy blues.

1. Establish a routine

Puppies thrive on structure, and so do most people. Creating a consistent daily schedule for feeding, potty breaks, training, and playtime helps provide both you and your puppy with a sense of stability. A routine can reduce surprises and stress, making it easier to predict your puppy’s needs and help them adapt to house rules more quickly. 

2. Gather information

The more knowledge you have about raising a puppy, the better equipped you’ll be to handle challenges. Read books, watch videos, and research online to understand how to properly handle your puppy’s developmental stages and how to tackle common issues like potty training or chewing. 

3. Implement management 

“Management is trainer-speak for preventative measures. And it’s usually the biggest missing piece when people are feeling overwhelmed by their puppy,” Malawey says. “Having gates, crates, or playpens set up in your home can prevent a lot of bad habits from forming and provide necessary boundaries with an animal who has yet to learn how to navigate our human world.”

4. Reinforce the behavior you like

When you reward your puppy for behaviors you want to see more of — like staying quiet or waiting patiently instead of jumping — you’ll not only encourage better behavior but also train yourself to focus on the positive progress they’re making. “It will make the experience more enjoyable for you and your dog, and strengthen your bond in the process,” Malawey says.

5. Take breaks when needed

It’s important to carve out time for yourself, even if it’s just for a short break. Ask a friend, family member, or pet sitter to watch your puppy for a few hours so you can recharge. This will help prevent burnout and give you a moment to relax.

6. Get a dog trainer

If you’re struggling with your puppy’s behavior, bringing in a professional trainer can make a world of difference. A certified dog trainer can offer guidance tailored to your puppy’s needs and provide effective training and behavior management strategies. They can help with everything from basic commands to addressing more challenging behaviors, giving you the tools to handle your puppy with confidence.

You might also consider enrolling your puppy in classes. These puppy classes teach essential skills like obedience and socialization and provide a structured, safe environment where your puppy can learn to interact with other dogs. 

7. Build a support network 

Connect with online communities of fellow puppy parents or the people you meet in your puppy classes. Sharing your struggles, hearing others’ experiences, and receiving advice from those who’ve been through similar challenges can provide much-needed support.

8. Prioritize self-care

Don’t neglect your own well-being. Get enough rest, eat well, and exercise when you can. When you care for yourself, you’ll be better equipped to handle the demands of caring for a puppy.

9. Focus on the positive aspects of puppy parenthood

When caring for a puppy becomes overwhelming, shift your focus to the joyful moments. Whether it’s the way your puppy greets you with excitement, a funny thing they did that made you laugh, or the warmth of a cuddle session, these small moments can remind you why you brought a puppy into your life in the first place. 

10. Remind yourself it’s temporary

The puppy blues usually pass as you and your puppy adjust to your new life together. Keep in mind that this overwhelming phase is temporary, and soon enough, you’ll be able to enjoy the companionship and happiness that comes with having a well-adjusted dog.

Nervous about getting a puppy?

Bringing a puppy into your life is a big decision, and it’s natural to feel some anxiety about the responsibility ahead. With some preparation and the right mindset, you can ease those nerves and feel more confident about becoming a new puppy parent. Here are some tips to help you feel more prepared and excited for your new furry friend.

Research puppy care

One of the best ways to ease anxiety before getting a puppy is by learning as much as possible before bringing your pup home. Learn about house training, crate training, socialization, feeding schedules, and common challenges new pet parents face. Books, reputable websites, community forums, and advice from veterinarians are all great resources to tap into.

Get pre-puppy counseling

Pre-puppy counseling can be incredibly helpful in setting you up for success, Malawey says. A qualified, positive-reinforcement-based trainer can guide you through what to expect and how to prepare, making the transition smoother for both you and your new pup. 

Prepare your home

Preparing your home for a puppy can reduce stress when the big day comes. Puppy-proof your space by removing hazards like wires, small objects, and toxic plants. Set up designated areas for sleeping, eating, and playtime so your puppy has a safe and comfortable environment to explore. Stock up on essentials like food, toys, bedding, and puppy pads to avoid last-minute runs to the store.

Get a dog that fits your lifestyle

Every dog has different needs in terms of energy, exercise, grooming, and temperament. When choosing a puppy, consider how the dog’s characteristics align with your lifestyle. A high-energy breed may be a good fit if you have an active lifestyle, while a more laid-back breed may work better for a quieter household. 

You might also consider adopting an adult dog. Adult dogs are often already trained, have established temperaments, and may require less hands-on care than a puppy, making the transition into pet parenthood smoother and not as overwhelming.

Regretting getting a puppy?

While feelings of regret usually pass once you and your new puppy settle into a routine, there are cases where this emotion persists. In some situations, the demands of puppy care might exceed what you can realistically handle, or you may realize that your home or lifestyle isn’t the right fit for a dog. It’s important to know that, while difficult, recognizing this doesn’t make you a bad person — it’s about making the best decision for both you and the puppy.

If you’ve tried the above tips and feel in your heart that having a puppy is not the right choice for you, you can return them to the shelter or use Rehome by Adopt a Pet to safely find a loving new home for your puppy.

Commonly asked questions

How long do puppy blues last?

Puppy blues can last from days to weeks. This can depend on how prepared you are, your dog’s temperament, and how much support you have. Regardless of the timeline, a pet parent's feeling of puppy blues is only temporary.

How to raise a puppy?

Raising a puppy requires a mix of planning (such as puppy-proofing your home), training (such as socializing your pup), and vet visits (such as getting them vaccinations). Our guide, “How to Raise a Puppy: Tips for New Pet Parents,” outlines the details within all those steps.

Resources 

“A Dog’s Puppyhood Can Cause “Puppy Blues” Reminiscent of Baby Blues.” ScienceDaily, 2024, www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2024/06/240628125158.htm.

Ståhl, Aada, et al. “Development and Validation of the Puppy Blues Scale Measuring Temporary Affective Disturbance Resembling Baby Blues.” Npj Mental Health Research, vol. 3, no. 1, 7 June 2024, https://doi.org/10.1038/s44184-024-00072-z. Accessed 16 Nov. 2024.

Marshall-Pescini, Sarah, et al. “The Role of Oxytocin in the Dog–Owner Relationship.” Animals, vol. 9, no. 10, 12 Oct. 2019, p. 792, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6826447/, https://doi.org/10.3390/ani9100792.